Wife ||| from DIAGRAM

I will behave like a dog. I will do it on the active volcano just like you want. I will wear what you put out on the bed. I will not be a loud drunk any more not spit no more mooning. I will wobble in pearls stilettos pass out elegantly equipped with a designer hand bag. I will use the golf clubs you bought for me & the cart. I will live in Hawaii wear a double bom lei head up the Maui Junior League. I will throw dinner parties back yard parties cocktail parties key parties campaign parties flirt at all your parties. I will stay tan stay bleached stay this skinny for ever. I will tell the guests the story that 1 you like how I was nothing how you saved me. I will brag about you owning all the banks. I will glow like gold I will be your trophy. I want the skiing in Vail I want mambo lessons & a salt water pool. I want to see the money. I get to use the jet when ever. I will have a separate bed room. A separate bath room a separate wing a separate phone line. I don’t want you in my business. We will not fight. I will be cordial. You must make an appointment to screw me. I don’t cook. I don’t do dinner time lunch time family time. I can keep up the image. I will not exercise in public. I will eat squid with your daddy I will play tennis with Joan Didion. I will not do laundry only do dry clean.

I want kids 10 of them all Asian and I get to name the first 1 & he will be Blizzard Laikiki. They will all get a double name get to be called a place & I will fly them there to that place every year on their birth days. I want to be a soccer mom a squash mom a swim meet timer part of a car pool. They will go to boarding school. I do not want to raise them. You must have affairs the right kind of fling. I want a speed boat an electric motor bike & a clean dick. I get to have a gambling problem a drinking problem. I get to have my break downs. You cannot make me take my meds. I promise to make you fall for me every day. I get property in Hilton Head a shop in the Hamptons I get to see my parents in Jersey just like that. My pet comes with me. I do not do quarantine. I get to be cold in the kitchen frigid in bed. I want my own helicopter. I get lessons because I want to be the pilot. I will admit it but only after watermelon & tequila that you make my mound go milky. I know how you want me to act. I can pretend I am your mother. This is the perfect marriage. I need 5 weeks to become this wife.


Amalie Flynn is an American writer and the author of two blogs: Wife and War and September EleventhFlynn’s Wife and War poetry has appeared in The New York Times at War and in TIME’S Battleland, has appeared in her blog for The Huffington Postand has received mention from The New York Times Media DecoderHer September Eleventh blog has received mention from CNNIn addition, her Wife and War blog has a global readership, with readers from over 90 countries. Amalie Flynn’s first book Wife and War: The Memoir is available now on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. You can find Amalie Flynn on TwitterFacebookGoodreads, and Pinterest. For more information about Wife and War: The Memoir, visit the book’s blog and its Facebook page.

Wife originally appeared in Issue 1.1 of DIAGRAM.